Army of Two - My god, how I hate you.

Ok, here is my first REAL post on my brand new blog. Today's game review is on a game most people have probably heard of, Army of Two. I recently acquired it through my friend who forced it into my hands and made me borrow it, not kidding. Anywho onto the review.

Now usually I think it's foolish to judge a game before you've either beaten it or play it to the point where it's not anymore fun, but I have a good reason for not doing so. First of all, first of all, first of all, it's rrreeepppeeetttiiitttiiivvveee (Repetitive in case you can't read that). All I have done so far in that game is run around aimlessly in it, my gun firing the whole time, shooting thousands of terrorists, civlians, my partner AI, whatever. So what I've realized is, it's hard to lose. Yeah you heard me, hard to LOSE. I haven't died once yet. I mean, you fall to the ground about to be killed, then your partner comes, drags you behind a corner, and heals you. Magically, you're all better.

For lack of effort, time, and me caring about this game, here is a list of stuff. + is good; - is bad.
-Two men in armor and masks that head butt and high five each other in a battle field, enough said.
-You can't actually die I don't think...
-You're partner AI is about as good as a Dell XPS. that is to say, it's not good at all.
+You CAN upgrade your weapons which is a plus (Hence the + )
+You can change your mask
-Guns are about as accurate as shooting carrots
-Levels are ALL the EXACT same just with different textures
-Enemies are all the same with the exception of the boss fights that take 3 seconds and the armored guys that you have to attack from behind, enough said again.
-Doesn't put you in the character's shoes. (See "Note #1" at the bottom for more info)
-No suspense, too easy to guess what's going to happen
-First Person Shooter? I think NOT. It's like... 2nd person almost. Right over their shoulder so it's a P.I.T.A. to shoot anyone, not that it matters, you can't aim straight anyways.
-"Is that another turret?" Feeling. (See "Note #2" at the bottom for more info)
-You can tell your partner good job or wow, you're an idiot after each fight. (Is it required? What happens if you don't?)
-They are on a 6 word vocabulary, all of them are cuss words
-REPEAT THE SAME ACTION F-ING PHRASE OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER *twitch*

Note #1 - Halo 3 - I get into that game on the campaign mode, I get pumped up and start yellnig at the screen "OH YEAH, IN YOUR FACE!". That doesn't happen on here.

Note #2 - Army of Two - Jeeze, every other corner is another invincible turret that you have to attack from behind.

So, despite how crappy this game is, I give it a hefty 2, out of 5.